Famous words from the Doors...This is the End!

I had such a great time with my classes and will miss them. I am looking forward to my next term. I never though that I would like to blog, but I found it to be a great outlet for anything that I may be going through. Sometimes there are thing in your head that you just have to get out and blogging was a wonderful place for that. Thank you all for reading my insistent rambling of things that no one really cares about hearing. I am going to miss you all! I loved this Comp class and am kind of sad to see it end. I will continue to use all of the information put out there for me this term and know that with it behind me I will be able to pull off some of the best work that I have ever put out before. The learning process was amazing and very helpful. Thank you again to professor McCage for everything that you have done over the last term. I will keep in contact through facebook!

It comes to a Head

I have made the decision that it is time to find a new job. I have been at my current job for several years, 10 to be exact and I have grown tired of it. I use to think that Parks was where I wanted to be and even went as far as to make myself believe that I would actually go somewhere with them. I was wrong. I have gone no where with them at all. I am still in the same spot that I was when I began back in 2001. At this point, I don't care if I find something that I make less money at as long as I am not at Parks and as long as I do not have to use my car so much. I need to get out of parks, and that is exactly what I am doing. I am trying to fight the urge to just up and quit without anything to back me up. I have been filling out applications at places and I hope to have a new job by the end of this week, then I can just drop my keys on my bosses desk and leave. I am dreaming of that day and hope that it comes soon!

Ignorance is Bliss

Have you ever had a job for so long that you thought that it couldn't possible come to an end? I had that last week until a person on my crew accused me of being a racist. I am pretty far from being a racist! I don't have a problem with anyone unless they create one. So, as a result of this new information, I have been moved to another park to work alone. I lost my park, my crew and someone I thought was a friend. Then come to find out, that the day after I was moved, the guy who accused me of such a horrible thing, was promoted to MY rank, given MY park and crew! I saw someone else go down the exact same way a few years ago, only she was fired. I think that maybe I was given a better deal than him though. I got to keep my title and my pay, plus I don't have to deal with anyone at all and I get the weekends off. I like weekends off :) .

I told my sister what had happened and she said that I have finally learned the fine art of promotion through ignorance. lol. I love my sister!

Heheheh Hahaha I feel GREAT!!

Thanks to Pink, I have a new song that makes me feel SO FREAK'N GOOD! She wrote a song that just describes him and how I feel and I LOVE IT!

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na

I guess I just lost my boyfriend
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna spend my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent

I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
I wanna start a fight
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
I wanna start a fight

So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

The waiter just took my table
And gave it to Jessica Simps
I guess I'll go sit with drum boy
At least he'll knows how to sing

What if this song's on the radio?
Somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
He's gonna start a fight
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Yeah, he's gonna get in a fight

So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

You weren't there, you never were
You want it all but that's not fair
I gave you life, I gave my all
You we're there, you let me fall

So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

We all have to have something that makes up feel absolutely at our best, and this song does it for me. I might even make it my ring tone! Did I say that I feel AWESOME? Well, I do! HAHAHAHA

Grrrr

Hmmm, So the writing of this paper came to me easier than I thought it would. I have issues with writing a conclusion because by the time I get to it, my head is so full of things that I have gone through in my paper, that I can not seem to sort them out into a coherent thought. This is why they call it the rough draft though, so I can write it out, get an opinion and some help on it and fix the things that I need to fix before I have to turn it in for real. My other final paper in my other class isn't coming out too easy. I actually have to research everything about it. With this paper, I have read so much on the Bubonic plague over the last 3 years, that it just flowed out of my head through my hand and on to the computer. I hope I do well on this project. It is very informative, like it should be. I know that I don't have to cite common knowledge, but really, who (besides me and others who have studied this thing) are going to know all that much about it. Some people don't even know the dates that it took place and that it hit Europe more than once and I am ONLY writing about the initial outbreak that lasted 5 years? ** sigh**

Don't Live in Regret

Got to talk to a friend from years back for the first time in ... well, years. We reminisced about the times we had and began to wonder why times like that seem to fly by leaving a permanent stain in your memory and why it seems that all the fun times have to end. Maybe this happens to everyone. As we get older, our priorities change and our ideas change and we aren't so focused on what we were then but on what we are now. Maybe what we are now isn't as great as we think it is. I had some really good times with him while we were hanging out and I would love to hold onto that, but he didn't seem so keen on it. Maybe our great that we like to remember is the source of regret for others. We are too focused on how we feel about certain thing that we don't take the time to stop and think about how someone else might be feeling about it.

Take the friends who hung out all the time but never dated. One remembers all the great times they had as friends and the other begins to remember and they both share some great fun filled memories where they were having a great time. While one is ecstatic over the memories that have come up, the other begins to think about things and wishes things would have turned out differently, and how their life has changed for the worse since then. This sends this person into a regretful mood and quite possible, depression. The conversation ends abruptly because the other person just simply can't handle it anymore. How is the other person, the one who was happy to remember all that stuff, supposed to feel about the sudden termination of the conversation? It kind of makes them feel well, sort of bad, like they said something wrong. This will be in their thoughts no, wondering what was said that was wrong, and if they will ever speak again. Maybe that is a bit too harsh. A little too dramatic.

What's the difference between a G-spot and a Golf Ball?
A man will actually LOOK for a golf ball!!

Stick With My Head Baby and We Will Go Far!!

So, how does it work when you finally realize that you are lonely and have actually made the decision to begin dating again? Why do we always want what we can't have? Apparently, its some genetic disease, or maybe it's my intuition trying to tell me that I'm not really ready yet. See, I have a crush on someone that I can not possibly have because he is married. I guess I developed this because its safe in my eyes. I won't EVER make a move because of his status which means that I will NEVER have to be rejected and I can admire from afar. I feel safe this way, or maybe that is apart of my backwards thinking. :)

I also realized that someone I used to date years ago is no where near the same person that he once was. I thought for a little bit that he might be the one that I was supposed to be with, then as the months went on (as friends) and the more I spoke to him I realized that he is not a very happy person and likes to complain about a lot. Hearing constant complaining, is totally not my thing. Why are guys so much like children? Can't they grow up and act like an adult for a little bit? Maybe its too hard for them.

Work is going well and the crews are beginning to come on. Things are moving pretty slowly though. We have 6 parks to open up in 11 days and the water is not on anywhere, most of our supplies are not in, pipes are broken everywhere, and there are only 5 people to do it all in this very short amount of time. If it wasn't like this, then it wouldn't be California State Parks. We are just very good at pulling it all together. Got to work in the wind and rain today...groovy.